The Effects of Childhood Trauma

Nearly half of all children in the U.S. have endured one or more

traumatic experiences which threaten the life or wholeness of the child or someone really important to him/her. Common childhood traumas include: abuse (physical, sexual or verbal); neglect (physical or emotional); having a parent who is addicted to alcohol or other drugs or has a mental illness; a child who witnesses domestic violence or loses a parent to abandonment, divorce or death.

While every child reacts differently to trauma, the common thread

is that they are more likely to view the world and the people in it as

unpredictable, untrustworthy and unsafe. Many times, these children

have difficulties in their relationships and coping with their emotions.

They are likely to experience sleep problems, churning stomachs,

increased heart rates and be on constant high alert for potential danger.  Adolescents who’ve suffered traumatic events are also more likely to make poor choices, underachieve and/or fail in school, act aggressively towards others, be promiscuous and engage in delinquent activity.

Substance abuse is also common among youth who’ve experienced trauma. They turn to alcohol or other drugs in an attempt to avoid those overwhelming negative feelings. But in doing so, they create a cycle of re-victimization.

For these teens, reminders of past trauma elicit cravings for alcohol and other drugs. These substances however, further impair their ability to cope with distressing and traumatic events, increasing their likelihood of engaging in further risky behaviors that could lead to additional trauma. So in the end, instead of drowning-out their pain, they have only increased it.

The consequences of childhood trauma do not necessarily end with

childhood either. A CDC study revealed a direct link between childhood trauma and the adult onset of chronic disease, mental illness and violence. And, as the number of traumatic childhood experiences increased, so too did a child’s risk for lifelong negative consequences.

Without help and support from caring adults, children who have

experienced trauma are likely to suffer physically and mentally and deal with those feelings in unhealthy ways. If you are a parent, grandparent, caregiver or teacher of a child who has gone through or is going through some type of trauma, you can make a difference and potentially change the course of their future.

In our next tip, Know! The Importance of Trauma-Informed Parenting, you will learn a parenting strategy to provide help and hope for a hurting child.

Sources: ACES too high: Nearly 35 million U.S. children have

experienced one or more types of childhood trauma. Centers for

Disease Control and Prevention: Adverse Childhood Experiences Study (ACES). National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN): Caring for Children Who Have Experienced Trauma: A workshop for resource parents (2010). National Survey of Children’s Health: Adverse Childhood Experiences, 2012.

Marijuana And Its Impact On Adolescents

The Impact of Marijuana on Adolescents “We are the New Americana, getting high on legal marijuana,” are the lyrics to a popular new song by 21-year-old singer/songwriter ‘Halsey.’Her song reflects the unfortunate reality of the world our children are growing up in, as marijuana becomes not only legal, but socially acceptable in more and more states. It would be only natural for young people to assume that if all these adults have fought for or are fighting for marijuana to be legalized, then the drug itself must be pretty harmless. This assumption is incorrect and dangerous. While marijuana use is risky for people of all ages, it is especially hazardous for youth. Here’s why: Marijuana impacts the developing adolescent brain: Studies show that chronic (and sometimes casual) marijuana use during adolescence can actually change the physical shape, volume and density of a person’s brain, negatively impacting learning and memory. The severity of such brain abnormalities is shown to increase as frequency of use increases. Heavy use of marijuana during adolescence may also reduce a person’s IQ by as much as 8 points. A loss of 8 points could drop a person of average intelligence into the lowest third of the intelligence range. Marijuana impacts school performance: Research consistently shows that marijuana users earn lower grades, are more likely to skip classes, have higher incidences of school suspension/expulsion and higher dropout rates, and are subsequently more likely in adulthood to experience unemployment, social welfare dependence and dissatisfaction in quality of life. Marijuana impacts health and safety: Marijuana use has the potential to increase heart rate, cause lung and breathing problems, and is linked to anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts among youth. Marijuana affects a person’s coordination, balance, reaction time, alertness and ability to concentrate – increasing one’s risk for accidental injury and death. Because the adolescent brain has not yet matured, many young people have a tendency to act on impulse, without regard for risk. Adding marijuana to the mix only increases the likelihood of poor decision-making, including engaging in risky sexual behaviors, getting into a car with an impaired driver, or taking part in a criminal act. If the risks of marijuana continue to be downplayed by adults, there is a greater likelihood of more youth, including our sons and daughters, giving this drug a try. Young people must be made aware that marijuana is not harmless; that use of this drug causes people to think and behave differently; that marijuana negatively impacts brain function, intelligence, school performance and health and safety; and that marijuana use not only threatens success in the present, but jeopardizes a hopeful future. For more information, visit Drug Free Action Alliance’s Marijuana Resource page. Sources: Meier et al. (2012). Persistent cannabis users show neuropsychological decline from childhood to midlife. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. Neurology Advisor: Marijuana-Related Emergency Department Visits on the Rise, December 17, 2014. National Institute on Drug Abuse: Marijuana – Selected Effects on the Brain, Body & Behavior. Rocky Mountain HIDTA Report: Volume 2, 2014.

Bully Proof Your Child Event October 20 6:30

No parent wants their child to be a bully or to be bullied. This upcoming event in Columbus, IN helps parents to “bully proof” their child. Brooks Gibbs is an excellent presenter with a unique point of view. Come out an add more tools into your parenting tool box. Click on the link below for further information.

Brooks Gibbs Event (1)

3 Steps To Help Your Teen Pursue Their Dream

Image Credit | venue

We all have dreams for our children. It is good for us to share those dreams with them. Just as important is helping them to dream for themselves. Here are some tools o share with your child on having the life they dream of.

From a young age, others dream for us. Usually it’s well-meaning parents calling out future potential. Then teachers, coaches, pastors, and others in authority, cast their hopes for us. It becomes harder and harder to tell the difference between others dreams for us and our own dreams. Their dreams become ours.

The challenge with others dreams is that to see our dreams come to reality they must come from within. Chasing another’s dream for is can become a distraction from the life you truly desire. Here are 3 steps to dig out your dream:

1. Be alone with yourself

We must be alone with ourselves to turn off all of the voices except the one that is internal. In this busy society we must be intentional to make this happen. Technology is unrelenting and a constant distraction.The noise makes it impossible to see the bread crumbs of your passion, talents, and abilities. The other reason alone time is important is because we often bring others in too early in the process of evaluating our dreams. Alone time must be a constant to help refocus and reevaluate.

“We all have two choices; We can make a living or we can design a life.” – Jim Rohn

2. Write it down

Writing down and putting on paper our dreams, is a necessity. When a dream is written it reminds us of what is non-negotiable. There will be aspects of your dream that you will need to let go or change but there must be things that you won’t budge on no matter what. Writing helps us to distill the difference. Writing also serves as a place to go for hope. We will get discouraged along the journey and we will need to put fuel in our tank. Fuel comes to us be reconnecting with our vision. Put your dream in writing so that you will have an anchor to come back to.

3. Feedback

Feedback is a crucial step but a few words of caution. First, we shouldn’t get feedback too early in the process. Make sure that you are firm in where you stand. Second, be cautious of who gives you feedback and who you listen to. Many times we are excited about our dreams and share them with the wrong people. Find others that have been where you want to go and get their feedback. Find out what it takes to get there. They will prepare you for roadblocks, hurdles, and challenges along your journey. They will help you tweak your dream but remember certain parts of your dream must be concrete.

“This one step – choosing a goal and sticking to it – changes everything.” – Scott Reed

As you realign and recalibrate your preferred future, you will find a new found energy and passion. The road is long but it is worth it. Stay true to you and that inner cry. Skill can be learned, but the inner fire is what you want to cultivate. Be blessed on your journey.

Are you chasing your dreams or someone else’s? Please leave your comments below!

Good Grades and a Good Nights Sleep

Sleep Impacts School Success

For students everywhere, saying goodbye to summer break means also saying goodbye to their summer sleep schedule of staying up late and snoozing until lunchtime. For tweens and teens, this transition is especially challenging. Their body clocks are programmed to stay up later and sleep in later. And while it may be a struggle, sleep is an essential element for school success.

How much is enough? According to the National Sleep Foundation, the updated recommended range for school-age children (ages 6 – 13) is 9-11 hours of sleep; and teens (ages 14-17) are said to need 8-10 hours of sleep.

For many families, these numbers may seem unrealistic, given their

child’s school, work and extra-curricular activities schedule. Try

motivating your child to improve his/her sleep habits with this list of

sleep benefits – it just may catch their attention.

Getting the recommended amount of ZZZ’s can:

Improve Memory: Whether you’re studying for a math test or trying

to memorize the steps to a new dance routine, you practice it over

and over. But learning does not end when the lights go out. Your mind is surprisingly active during a good night’s sleep. It works to absorb those math strategies or dance moves and strengthens your ability to remember them when you awake.

Spur Creativity: If you’re having trouble coming up with a creative idea, experts say, “Sleep on it.” During a quality night’s snooze, the brain reorganizes and restructures your memory, aiding in creativity.

Sharpen Attention: Sleep deprivation affects adults and youth

differently. While lack of sleep may cause mom and dad to feel sleepy, it can result in ADHD-like symptoms for youth (aka: slap-happy). Getting the needed amount of sleep helps a student to sit still and focus their attention in school.

Improve Athletic Performance: Yes, games are won on the practice

field. But in addition to practice and hard work, a key factor in improving athletic performance is SLEEP! A Stanford University study found that college football players who tried to sleep at least 10 hours a night over a seven to eight week period, improved their average sprint time, had less daytime fatigue and increased stamina.

Improve Your Mood: Insufficient sleep can leave a person feeling

irritable, anxious, short-tempered, depressed, stressed and/or mentally exhausted. No one wants to feel this way or be around someone who acts this way. On the other hand, a good night’s sleep increases your chances of getting up on, “the right side of the bed.”

Help Control Your Appetite: Sleep and metabolism are controlled

by the same part of the brain. Sleep deprived fatigue can trigger an

increase of hormones in your blood – the same ones that drive appetite.

Sleep is food for the brain, and when our children’s minds are not

properly fed with the sleep they need, they may suffer academically,

mentally, emotionally and/or physically. While it is not always easy

for youth to achieve the nightly recommended hours of sleep, it is

imperative, as their parents and caregivers, that we help them get as

close to it as possible, as many nights as possible.

For tips on achieving healthy sleep, visit: http://sleepfoundation.org/

sleep-tools-tips/healthy-sleep-tips.

Sources: Active Kids: Back to School: Why Your Kids Need Their

Sleep. Health: 11 Surprising Health Benefits of Sleep. National Sleep

Foundation: How much sleep do we really need?

E-Cigs and Teens

TIME.com stock photos

New research suggests e-cigarette use among young people could be a gateway to conventional smoking.

Researchers looked at 2,530 students from 10 Los Angeles public schools. They asked the teenagers about their smoking and vaping activities and found that teens who had used e-cigarettes were more likely to report using tobacco products over the next year compared to teens who had never used e-cigarettes. The findings were published Tuesday in the journal JAMA.

The researchers cannot conclude from their data that using e-cigarettes leads a teen to use other tobacco products. More research is needed to determine if the link is causal. However, they suggest it’s unlikely that the number of teens who use both e-cigarettes and other tobacco products can be entirely attributed to teens already smoking and then trying e-cigarettes later on. “These results raise the possibility that the association between e-cigarette and combustible tobacco use initiation may be bidirectional in early adolescence,” the authors write.

Some view e-cigarettes as a healthier alternative to tobacco. However, both e-cigarettes and tobacco products contain nicotine, which is addictive, and some research shows that e-cig flavors are dangerous and that the devices, too, produce potentially dangerous byproducts when heated. Since data suggests that teenagers are increasingly using e-cigarettes, some public health experts are worried.

“Adolescents may be especially susceptible to develop nicotine addiction after e-cigarette exposure because their brains are still developing and are particularly sensitive to nicotine,” writes Dr. Nancy A. Rigotti of Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School in a corresponding editorial.

The researchers also note teens may be more likely to use e-cigarettes before other combustible tobacco products due to a perception that they are not harmful or addictive. The fact that e-cigarettes are sold in different flavors can be attractive to young people, the authors argue, and in some cases it remains easy for teens to get access to them due to a lack of regulation.

Supportive Words for Parents to Share with Teens

A new school year is upon us. Our children will face many uncertainties and anxieties. One tip for parents is to speak life into our children. When I say speak life I mean take time to share with your children what you love about them. Every morning before school or every evening before bed take a moment to ask you teen, “what are you hopeful about?”, or “you know I love it when…” These types of conversations let your teen know they are loved and supported. This loves reminds them they can rebound from mistakes and increases their resilience. Along with this dialog, a parent can share some hopes and dreams they have for their child. No child is a mind reader and hopeful dreams never shared are not known. The new school year is a good time to say “I love you, I’m proud of you, and There is greatness within you. Speak life and life will be manifested.

Freedom and Teenagers

The official Fourth of July holiday may have come and gone, but for those of us with tweens/teens, talk of independence and freedom continues on.

It is normal and healthy for adolescents to seek increased independence as they grow and develop. It is also normal for parents to have a hard time letting go. Naturally, we worry about our children’s health and safety and quite frankly, their ability to make good decisions. However, in order for our children to become mature, responsible, self-disciplined young people, we must loosen the reigns and allow them to make some decisions on their own, mistakes and all.

With that said, your freedom-seeking adolescent still needs your parental influence and the stability you provide. It is when parents allow more freedom than a child is ready to handle, or permit the wrong kind of freedom, that problems occur. Difficulties also arise when parents cling too tightly, not allowing children the freedom they need. Research tells us that children do best when they remain closely connected with their parents, yet are free to express their own thoughts and opinions.

The challenge for parents is in figuring out the right amount of freedom to give and when to give it.

Consider these tips in helping with that challenge:

Grant Independence in Stages: While age is important in deciding when and how much freedom to give, maturity and past performance are also key factors. Start small, permitting your child to make some decisions that don’t entail major consequences. If done well, you may choose to increase your son or daughter’s freedom a bit further. Regardless, you will gain a better sense of your child’s maturity level and his/her decision-making skills.

Set Clear Limits: Limits actually make children feel loved and more secure. They need and want to know what behavior is expected of them, especially as they are given additional freedoms. You don’t want your child to assume that increased freedom on one thing necessarily means increased freedom on something else. Therefore, boundaries must be set and clearly known by your child.

Give Reasonable Choices: Choices make youth more open to guidance. For instance, instead of just saying, “No, you can’t go to the party,” include some options like, “You can’t go the party, but you can have some friends over or I can drop you and some friends off at the movies.”

Guide Their Thinking: Adolescents are more responsive when they feel you are trying to guide, not control them. Engage your child in conversation, listen carefully, and then ask questions to get your child thinking about the potential outcomes of his/her actions.

Mistakes and Consequences Should Be Embraced: Making mistakes and experiencing the consequences that go along with them can serve as the best learning tool of all for our children – so long as the stakes aren’t too high and their health and safety aren’t at risk. Teach your child how to step back, examine what may have gone wrong and encourage them to think about how different choices may have led to a more positive outcome. We must resist the temptation to make excuses for our children’s poor choices or bail them out of difficult situations so that they may avoid the negative consequences. Children need to learn that every choice has a consequence, for better or worse, and they must be held accountable for their actions.

We must accept our children’s desire and need for increased independence and freedom while still providing guidance and support. In doing so, we provide our adolescents the opportunity they need to learn from their mistakes, take personal responsibility for their actions and grow in both maturity and self-discipline.

Sources: Education.com: Freedom and Limits for Teens. Pam Lehman — Community Action Network, Feb. 2011. U.S. Department of Education: Independence – Helping Your Child Through Early Adolescence. 

Marijuana, Talk About It

Know! What’s Up With Weed Marijuana has become a regular subject on the nightly news, along with heated debates between those for legalization of the drug and those against it. It seems everyone is talking about marijuana, including our children. Depending on what state you’re in, the laws surrounding “weed” will vary, as well as attitudes and perceived risk of using the drug. Regardless of where your state stands on weed, where do you stand on weed? Do your children know where you stand? Are you even sure where you stand? If you’re unsure on the subject, more than likely, your children are too, which can open the door to adolescent experimentation. In the U.S., as state laws surrounding marijuana began to loosen, attitudes began to soften. And as perceived risk of marijuana began to decrease, use of the drug increased. While this is unfortunate news, there is hope. Studies show that as knowledge on marijuana increases, use of the drug decreases. With this in mind, we need to know what’s up with weed and share that information with our children. Marijuana has the potential to negatively impact adolescent brain development and function and cause various breathing problems. Marijuana use also changes the way many people think, impacts the choices they make and alters the way they behave. Marijuana use in the short-term: Causes cognitive dysfunction when it comes to memory, perception of time, and ability to complete complex tasks and learn (some of which can become long-term issues as well); Negatively impacts decision-making, including increased risky sexual behavior; Impairs coordination and balance, leading to an increased risk of accident, injury and death. And while marijuana may have a calming effect on some users, it significantly increases the heart rate of others, and can cause panic and anxiety. Marijuana use in the long-term has been linked to: Higher incidences of students dropping out of school; Poorer life outcomes and life satisfaction, including career and relationship matters; Poorer physical health and mental health problems, including depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts among teens; Addiction – about 1 in 11 marijuana users become addicted and the odds may increase to about 1 in 6 for those who begin using in their teens. This is certainly not what any of us want for our children. Federal law says one thing, some state laws say another. Regardless, your voice andyour actions matter. Your parental influence is powerful when it comes to your children and the decisions they make. Talk to your children about the dangers of marijuana. You can get the conversation started by asking your child what he/she knows about marijuana, and his/her opinion on the topic. Listen closely and keep your cool even if your son or daughter’s opinion is not in line with yours. This is your opportunity to provide the facts, make your stance known and your expectations for non-use clear. Sources: MSNBC: UN report: Number of marijuana-related injuries is on the rise. June 27, 2014.Neurology Advisor: Marijuana-Related Emergency Department Visits on the Rise, December 17, 2014.National Institute on Drug Abuse: Marijuana – Selected Effects on the Brain, Body & Behavior.

Warning Signs of Teen Suicides

The Warning Signs of Teen Suicide

According to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, the majority of suicidal adolescents do not truly want to die, they just want to end their pain and sadness. Many youth, at some point during adolescence, will think about suicide; however most are able to come to terms with the permanency of it and choose to resolve the problem in other ways. But some young people, in the midst of a crisis, perceive their dilemma as inescapable and see no other way out. Eighty percent of the time there are definite signs to indicate a suicidal plan is in process. The key to prevention is in being able to recognize those signs and not hesitating to take action. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline shariPartySAFEes the following list of warning signs designed around the word “FACTS,” and says that the risk for suicide is greater if a particular behavior is new or has increased. FEELINGS that seem different from the past, like hopelessness, fear of losing control, helplessness, worthlessness, feeling overly anxious, worried or angry often. ACTIONS that are different from the way your child acted in the past, especially things like talking about death or suicide, taking dangerous risks, withdrawing from activities or sports or using alcohol or drugs. CHANGES in personality, behavior, sleeping patterns, eating habits, loss of interest in friends or activities or sudden improvement after a period of being down or withdrawn. THREATS that convey a sense of hopelessness, worthlessness, or preoccupation with death (”Life doesn’t seem worth it sometimes”; “I wish I were dead”; “Heaven’s got to be better than this”), giving away favorite things, studying ways to die, obtaining a weapon or stash of pills, suicide attempts like overdosing or cutting. SITUATIONS that can serve as “trigger points” for suicidal behaviors. These include things like loss or death, getting in trouble at home, in school or with the law, a break-up or impending changes for which your child feels scared or unprepared. Teen suicide is preventable, but it must be brought out into the light. We must have conversations with our children on the topic, just like we do with drinking, smoking and any other risky behavior that could harm them. A common concern among parents is that talking about suicide with a child will somehow plant the idea of it in their head – which is simply not true. The Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide suggests a conversation that goes something like this: Getting started: I read that suicide is now the third leading cause of death for people your age. Acknowledge your discomfort, which will allow your child to do the same: I know this may be an uncomfortable subject, but it is really important for us to talk about it. Ask direct questions like: What do you think about suicide? Is it something that any of your friends talk about? The statistics make it sound pretty common. Have you ever thought about it?  Listen attentively and share your concerns if you have any: What you’re telling me has really gotten my attention and I need to think about it some more. Let’s talk about this again, okay? Don’t overreact – as it may prevent future conversations on the topic; but definitely don’t under react – as it could have fatal consequences. Take ALL thoughts or talk of suicide seriously and seek help immediately, if needed. If your son or daughter expresses past thoughts of suicide, for example, “I felt that way awhile ago but I don’t anymore,” ask about the problem that caused such thoughts and discuss how he/she resolved it. Remember, suicide is an attempt to solve a problem that seems impossible to solve in any other way. By knowing the facts and talking openly with your child about suicide, you allow your son or daughter to feel more comfortable with the subject, and more likely to come to you with questions and concerns in the future. If you, your child or someone else you know exhibits any of these signs, seek help as soon as possible by calling the Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Sources: American Association of Suicidology. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Society for the Prevention of Suicide. Youth Suicide Prevention Program.